Sunday, November 4, 2012

Exactly how i feel about my preemies

Twenty-six and Twenty-Nine weeks, too early to be born,This is only the beginning of a long rough storm.
Such a tiny baby, almost not even alive
I look at my mother and wonder how she'll survive.

It'll be weeks, maybe even months of waiting,
right now my mothers hope is quickly fading.
I see the pain in her eyes as she stares through my plastic walls,
she wonders if I'll even survive this at all.

How badly I want to tell her she's not to blame for my early birth,
that it was God that sent me to this earth.
He knew my mother's strength, the strong will she had,
to teach her to look to him, when things get really bad.

Right now I have tubes and wires every which way,
My mother at my side, everyday she prays.
The miracle of a child goes sorely misunderstood,
My mother would help me, if only she could.

No reason at all the doctors to give,
all they care now is how long I have to live.
They say it’s a long hard road with lots of bumps along the way,
and to take things as they come day to day.

It's been three weeks since I first saw my mother's face,
she wonders if we'll ever leave this place.
Blood transfusions, infections, surgeries-
not a day goes by without the worries.
Wishing, hoping, pausing to pray,
my mother wonders, "Will my baby make it through the day."

It's now been two months since my tragic birth,
I'm not a pound any more, I'm starting to get some girth.
All I have left is to learn to eat,
even that is such a huge feat

Finally the day comes, I get to go home!
In my mother's arms, I'm no longer alone.
As we enter the front door, my mother drops to her knees,
she thanks the Lord for hearing her pleas.

The strength of a mother is something I can't explain,
but through her love, my life was sustained.
Mother and son finally where they should be,
two miracles together for everyone to see.

The miracle of my life is not something to take of light,
Both my mother and I, put up a hard fight.
We both thank the lord above everyday that goes by,
because he was there always by our side.~

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Prematurity


The way i view my boys being premature is that it was NOT an accident, i could NOT control what happened, both circumstances were NOT my fault, instead i'd rather like to believe that god gave me 14 extra weeks to hold, feed and take care of jacob. Now with alex i will have 11 extra weeks to be with and take care of him, although i would have much rather to have both my boys home and not in the hospital for those weeks i'm glad i'm getting/ have gotten the extra time with them :). Alexander is growing and gaining quite nicely he is now up to 5 lbs 9 oz and his oxygen is very low and hopefully he can come off of it before he comes home. The nurse told me today after i came back from pumping (after i breastfed) that alexander had spit up while i was gone ( i got about an ounce less than normal) so i assume that is at least what he ate, besides what they put down his feeding tube, so next time they are going to put down less or nothing at all depending on how long he nurses, today was about 15 min so if he does it longer they probably won't put anything down. 

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Slow milk flow

Well my milk supply has started dropping quite rapidly and I talked to lactation this morning and she is recommending that I get medicine to help my supply go back to normal hopefully it works :)

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Alexander is growing!

Alexander is now in an open crib starting to take the bottle (hopefully he can start doing more breastfeeding). He is now 4 lbs 13 oz and add long as he starts taking the bottle or breast at every feeding and taking most of his feeding he will be home soon!